Coping with Grief and Loss

Grieving is a highly individual experience. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve and how you grieve will depend of many factors, including your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith, and how significant the loss was to you.

What is grief?

Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. Often, the pain of loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience all kinds of emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt and profound sadness. The pain of your loss can impact your physical health too, making it difficult to sleep, eat or even think straight. These are all normal reactions to loss, and the more significant the loss, the more intense your grief will be.

While loss affects people in different ways, there are some common symptoms. And it’s important to remember that almost anything that you experience in the early stages of grief is normal, even feeling like you are in a bad dream, going crazy, or questioning everything that still exists in your life.

Causes of grief

Coping with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life’s biggest challenges. You may associate grieving with the death of a loved one, which is often the cause of the most intense type of grief, by any loss can cause grief, including:

  • Divorce or relationship breakup
  • Loss of health
  • Losing a job
  • A miscarriage
  • Loss of financial stability
  • Retirement
  • Loss of a friendship
  • Loss of safety after a trauma
  • Selling the family home
  • Death of a pet

Any event that causes or creates a life change can trigger a sense of grief. For example: moving away from home, changing jobs, finishing school and/or university.

Never be ashamed of how you feel

Whatever your loss, it’s personal to you, so never feel ashamed about how you feel. If the person, animal, relationship, or situation was significant to you, it’s normal to grieve the loss you’re experiencing. Whatever the cause of your grief though, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain that, in time, can ease your sadness and help you come to terms with your loss, find new meaning, and eventually move on with your life.

Whether it’s a close friend, spouse, partner, parent, child, or other relative, few things are as painful as losing someone you love. After such a significant loss, life may never seem quite the same again. But in time, you can ease your sorrow, start to look to the future, and eventually come to terms with your loss.

Myths about grieving

Myth: The pain will go away faster if you ignore it

Fact: Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real healing, it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it.

Myth: It’s important to ‘be strong’ in the face of loss

Fact: Feeling sad, frightened or lonely is a normal reaction to loss. Crying doesn’t mean you are weak. You don’t need to ‘protect’ your family or friends by putting on a brave front. Allowing yourself to show your true feels can help them and you.

Myth: If you don’t cry, it means you are not bothered by the loss

Fact: Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it’s not the only one. Those who don’t cry may feel the pain just as deeply as others. They may simply have other ways of showing it. And this is okay.

Myth: Grieving should last about a year

Fact: There is no specific time frame for grieving. How long it takes differs from person to person.

Myth: Moving on with your life means forgetting about your loss

Fact: Moving on means you’ve accepted your loss, and that’s not the same as forgetting. You can move on with your life and keep the memory of someone or something you lost as an important part of you.

How to deal with the grieving process

While grieving a loss is an inevitable part of life, there are ways that can help you cope with the pain so you can come to terms with your grief and eventually (in your own time) find a way to pick up the pieces and move on with your life.

  • Acknowledge your pain
  • Accept that grief can trigger many different and unexpected emotions
  • Understand that your grieving process will be unique to you
  • Speak to people. Be open to face-to face support from people who care about you
  • Support yourself emotionally by taking care of yourself physically
  • Be able to recognise the difference between grief and depression

Healing from grief

Remember to be kind to yourself. Allow yourself time and space to come to terms with your loss. Keep the lines of communication open with your friends and your loved ones, and give yourself permission to be vulnerable as you work through your personal experience of grief.

Whatever your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to unfold naturally.

There are many other activities and remedies you can embrace that may support you through your grieving process and these are:

  • Journaling
  • Meditating
  • Talking Therapy
  • Energy Healing
  • Tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique)
  • Crystals – here are a few; Rose Quartz, Amethyst, Moonstone & Smoky Quartz
  • Flower Essences you can drop on or under your tongue to bring relief and comfort. Grief Essence, Snowdrop Flower Essence and Healing Bereavement Essence. These links will take you to a third party website. If you want to make a purchase, be sure to use code INNERBALANCE at checkout to get 10% discount.

A little disclosure: there are affiliate links in this article. That just means if you click on a link, find something you like and buy it, we’ll make some cash. Don’t worry, you won’t pay any extra – in fact you’ll get a 10% discount. It’s a win for us and a win for you too!

If you feel you need support to help you work through your grief, whether from last week or years ago book a free 20-minute discovery call to find out how Gilly can help you:

Book Your Discovery Call

Leave a Comment