Are you facing the unknown and you don't know which direction to go?
Are you trying to navigate profound pain and avoid being consumed by suffering?
Are you ready to make the change, but you don't know how or where to start?
Do you want to grow and learn from a painful experience and change your life for the better?
We have all experienced a situation that brought us anxiety, despair, and pain. It's especially difficult when something you wanted desperately goes awry, or you turned your life upside down for something only for it to backfire in your face.
In time, you come to realise that as painful as that situation was you have grown because of it. Or, in spite of it. Regardless, you made it through, you made it to the other side, and you're doing just fine.
The most difficult times and most painful periods in your life can also be the greatest teachers. These times can break you, or you can use them to your advantage and let them make you. That's what personal development is all about, it's about letting go of the suffering you have put up with to make positive changes in your life and grow beyond it.
One single moment can turn your life upside down. It's terrifying to consider that external circumstances can have so much power over your life, especially when it's something entirely outside your realm of control. The idea that a person or a situation can change everything in a moment is terrifying.
That's why personal development is key because it is in this development that you will become adept at handling any painful situation or suffering life may throw your way. The majority of suffering we face stems from unchangeable circumstances. Your ability to accept the situation is key to coping and moving on.
What that acceptance looks like will depend on both you and the situation at hand. It might mean showing yourself compassion, it could be pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone. Regardless, there is a profound calm that comes with acceptance. It's the surrender to stop denying, fighting, blaming, and to choose growth and peace instead.
What you should understand right now is that suffering and pain are not one and the same. We lump them together, but you can separate the two and you can, in fact, deal with pain without having to suffer. We will all experience painful periods, but that doesn't mean we all have to suffer. Suffering is not necessary for you to grow. Suffering can hinder your growth and result in a feeling of helplessness and hopelessness.
That's why many meditations revolve around separating pain from suffering and encourage the art of letting go. Use pain to propel you forward and put a stop to suffering before it has a chance to get a foothold in your life.
Start by setting out some rules that you will follow when navigating pain. They will be unique to you and help you manage pain, avoid suffering, and change for the positive. Adopt the following rules.
• Strengthen your self-worth
Form positive mental habits and use them to build your self-worth rather than allowing difficult circumstances to tear you down.
• Don't get caught overthinking
As tempting as it is to replay painful events like a slideshow in your mind, don't do it. If you catch yourself at it, redirect your attention elsewhere.
• Start practicing acceptance
Of course, this all began with acceptance but it's worth repeating, especially because it will require consistency. You will have to practice acceptance constantly and consistently throughout your personal development journey.